I met my girlfriend in 2014 at college but we didn’t start dating until 2015. We have been together for almost 6 years and through those years I have experienced anxiety. Those that have been following my blog know that my anxiety has gotten worse in 2018.
My girlfriend and I grew up in two different worlds and were taught differently. When it comes to mental health my family is more open to talk about it compared to my girlfriend's family. It is not a subject that my family is ashamed of as opposed to her family. So needless to say my girlfriend didn’t have much knowledge about mental health before being in a relationship with me. Her parents basically taught her that there is no such thing as mental illness. That whenever her siblings or her were experiencing anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and etc. that they were just crazy, when in reality they were mentally struggling. Since her family has no education on the subject they make jokes that I personally don’t think is funny. It’s to the point where if one of them did/said something alarming they would joke around and say that they can collect a “dummy” check. I feel like even now when her siblings go through something mentally they are ashamed to talk about it and keep it bottled inside. However, to a certain extent it’s not their fault because it was a taught behavior. In my opinion, parents should be more open about talking about mental illness especially since it’s very common for people to experience it. Although I will say that mental health is being talked about more now than in any past generation.
Being in a healthy relationship is important especially for someone that is struggling mentally. For me I struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, and was diagnosed with agoraphobia. It is important to be in a relationship with someone that understands and motivates you to be the best version of yourself and that is what my girlfriend does. If you have someone by your side that is toxic, it just makes your mental state worse. I feel very lucky to have found someone like my girlfriend. I’m not going to lie and say we haven’t had our disagreements but not every relationship is perfect. Through my eyes there were a lot of issues that I would bring up to her that we would talk about. At the time my girlfriend just started her career and was growing as an individual and I just felt like I was holding her back. I wasn’t, and still aren’t. Starting a career and we were living with my parents. I’m not sure if you guys have experienced living with your parents and significant other but it was horrible. Not just for her mental health but for mine too because we weren’t happy. Still to this day I feel bad that she is much further in her life and so sure of herself than I am. Also, I can’t tell you guys how bad I felt that I barely went out with her. Date nights, vacations, shopping, and anything that was out of my comfort zone did not exist. I would always tell her that it’s not fair to her that I can’t be the person I was when we first met. She didn’t sign up for this, she fell in love with the girl that did almost everything with her turn into a girl that can barely leave the house. Even on my worst days she was/is there for me. She always encouraged me to get help but knew I had to be the one that wanted the help. She understood what I was going through because I was very open with her about what I was experiencing. Not once did she ever degrade me or threaten to leave me, she just wanted me to get better and knew I could. There was a lot I had to do on my own but she never let me forget that I wasn’t alone.
As you guys know, I have been trying exposure therapy and she is one, out of two, of the people I do it with. She encourages me to keep pushing myself and makes me feel super comfortable. When she and I travel together I know that I’m never stuck and if I want to turn around she would understand. Although there are techniques I try before doing so, that way I know I have tried everything in my power to keep going. We haven’t really turned around recently because I’ve been able to make it to each designation. I even sometimes make it further than we both anticipate. In the beginning my girlfriend would reward me when and where we made it to. She has treated me to make up, food, and a shopping spree so far. I don’t expect her to keep rewarding me but it’s nice to feel that she supports me. It’s also weird to be rewarded for leaving the house and going places even though it is a huge deal for me. My girlfriend was and is still supportive of me taking medication. I decided to start the medication when she was off of work because I felt safe around her and knew if anything were to happen she would take care of me.
For the past 3+ years I know I was a lot to handle but she went on this journey with me and didn’t give up on me. (Even still to this day.) Our relationship has gotten stronger especially since I started working on myself and can do more. My girlfriend has come such a long way when it comes to understanding mental health and I’m so proud of her. She went from knowing nothing and being ashamed to being more open about the subject. We are not the same people we were when we first met and sometimes that is a good thing. I love her and words can’t explain how much she means to me. I guess you can say that we are better together.
